Rumbled by The Daily Mash

Damn, they got me.

INDIVIDUALS who claim to be enthusiastic actually just like hearing themselves speak, it has emerged.

Researchers found that people who excitedly describe their passion for a thing are merely trying to stop others getting attention.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “A bit of enthusiasm is fine, but quiet enthusiasm is best.

“Non-stop talking and trying to make out that you’re full of childlike wonder at the everything isn’t enthusiasm.

“That’s just being annoying.”

Professor Brubaker identified several key types of fake enthusiasm, the most prominent being ‘hipster whimsy’ where people pretend to love 80s frat-pack films, a specific type of now-unavailable cereal or an unpopular type of animal.

He added: “The other main one is ‘dead-eyed corporate passion’ which is found everywhere from shops, to meeting rooms, to branded internet video content.

“Then there’s ‘American bullshit’ which of course is a whole other level.”

Marketing consultant Nikki Hollis said: “I’m just a passionate person who discovers the best thing ever on an hourly basis and screams her head off about it.

“If you find that annoying then obviously you are dead inside. But I still think you are amazing.”

I guess if I want to start getting all that attention I’d better start advertising properly…

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